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Exercise No. 9: Offender Relapse Warning Signs

Purpose. This offender relapse warning sign list will help you to understand how you return to breaking the law, even when you do not want to.

Instructions. Below is a list of thoughts, feelings, and actions that offenders may experience before committing a crime. Read the list and place a check mark next to any signs that you have experienced. Place a question mark next to any that you do not understand. Underline any words that cause you to have strong thoughts or feelings or make you want to do something. (This list was adapted from the work of Stanton E. Samenow, Ph.D.)

Phase I: Internal Dysfunction: During this period, changes occur in thoughts and feelings. These changes are unnoticed by other people.

___	1.	Worry: I worry about being able to survive in the real world. I wonder how I am going to be able to find and keep a job, pay bills and fines, get along with my family, or stay away from my old friends.
___	2.	Denial: I tell myself it will all work out. I pretend everything is all right. When people ask me about my problems, I tell them I will be okay, even though I am not sure.
___	3.	Belief that troubles are over: I convince myself that I've learned my lesson and will never do anything illegal again. I tell my friends, family, counselor and probation officer, "I've really learned this time," even though I do not have a plan for how to change.
___	4.	Uncomfortable feelings: I feel uncomfortable around people who are not involved in illegal activities. They seem boring, and I get nervous and jumpy. I want more excitement in my life.
___	5.	"All or nothing" thinking: I feel like I must be the best or I will be nothing. I must be very successful at everything I do. I get excited and build up in my mind how successful I must be. I feel that if I do not do everything right, I will fail.
___	6.	Unrealistic feelings: I think things should go my way just because I want them to. Because other people want me to succeed and I want to do well, things will happen the way I want them to.
___	7.	Not planning ahead: I do not plan for the future. When people ask me what my plans are, I tell them what I think they want to hear.
___	8.	Lack of effort: I do not do things that I do not like or that are boring or hard for me. I do not look into jobs or other things that might help me, and I find excuses for not doing these things.
___	9.	Building self up: I make myself feel better by putting other people down. I tell myself how stupid other people are. Most of the time I just think it, but sometimes I tell people that they are dumb or do not know anything.
___	10.	Poor decision making: I make decisions on the spur of the moment without thinking about what might happen. Afterwards, I think, "I really screwed up."
___	11.	Sensing a lack of trust: I feel like others do not agree with me or do not trust me. I think people should trust me no matter what I may have done in the past. I tell them I have changed, and I expect them to believe me. Their lack of trust makes me angry.

Phase II: External Dysfunction: In this phase, other people start to notice that you are acting differently. Your behavior starts to cause problems with others.

___	12.	Feeling put down: I think other people are putting me down when they point bad things out to me or when things do not happen the way I want. I think people do not understand me, and I begin to argue with them.
___	13.	Wanting to be alone: I start to avoid my family and other people. I wander around alone or go places by myself.
___	14.	Feeling depressed: I feel depressed, lonely, and angry. I don't think other people understand me. I start having problems sleeping, or I don't eat regularly and eat junk food. I feel hopeless.
___	15.	Denying fears: I do not want others to know I am afraid because I think being afraid is being weak. I tell people I am fine when I am really not. I'd rather tell people what they want to hear so that they won't know how I really feel.
___	16.	Having envious thoughts: I start to think about people I know who break the law and get away with it. I start to wish that I could do that, too. I wonder if there is an easier way to do things.

Phase III: Loss of Control: Your feelings at this time seem to control you. You can't seem to get yourself back on track. You feel like you can never change and wonder why you should try.

___	17.	Avoiding responsibility: I do what I want instead of what I told people I would do. When things go wrong, I tell people "I forgot." I either change the subject, or do not give them an answer. Sometimes I say "yes" when I do not really mean it.
___	18.	Using alcohol or drugs: Sometimes I feel good but I want to feel better. Sometimes I feel bad and I want to escape from my feelings. I begin to use alcohol or drugs to make good feelings better or to get rid of bad feelings. At first, I keep this a secret. If my probation officer, counselor, or family asks me about it, I lie.
___	19.	Seeing old friends: I start to hang around people who commit crimes. I want to be comfortable and they are the only people who seem to understand me. I go back to my old hangouts. I call people I know from jail or prison. I tell myself I am only doing this to find out how they are doing.
___	20.	Missing appointments: I miss appointments with my probation officer, counselor, job interview, or school. I make up excuses as to why I wasn't there. I begin to believe these people are out to get me and I can't trust them.
___	21.	Thinking "I can't": I tell people I can't do something, or I don't know how when I really just do not want to. I feel afraid or angry when I think about doing things that others want me to do.
___	22.	Playing the victim: I blame others when things go wrong. I tell people I couldn't help it. I feel like others are picking on me or are not giving me a chance. I feel like people will never be satisfied with me.
___	23.	Not understanding how I hurt others: I feel like other people are always telling me that I hurt them. I do not see how the things I do may hurt other people, and sometimes I get frustrated and I do not care.
___	24.	Committing petty crimes: I start stealing small things. I begin using illegal drugs, destroying other people's property, or getting into fights.
___	25.	Rejecting others: When people ask me what is wrong, I tell them that there is nothing wrong. If they persist, I tell them to leave me alone, yell at them, or do something to make them leave me alone.
___	26.	Thinking that I'm always right: I don't back down when other people do not agree with me. I feel that I am never wrong no matter what. I feel if I admit to others that I am wrong, they will think I am weak and will take advantage of me. Even if it turns out I am wrong, I leave or start a fight rather than admit it.
___	27.	Feeling entitled to what I want: I think other people should give me what I want, when I want it. If they do not, I have a right to take it. I feel angry that they won't do what I want or give me what I want. I feel like I have to teach them a lesson. I start thinking about illegal things I can do to get what I want.
___	28.	Feeling that my anger is justified: I feel that if I do not get what I want, I have the right to get angry, threaten, hurt, or get even with people. I feel I have the right to do whatever I have to because other people do not understand.
___	29.	Wanting to win: I feel I must win at all costs. I get "high" when I come out on top, even if the fight wasn't important. I will do whatever it takes to get back at someone who makes me angry. I am willing to commit crimes just to make me feel on top of things.

Phase IV: Return to Regular Law Breaking: You now get back into breaking the law on a regular basis.

___	30.	Believing "just this time": I decide to get even with someone just this one time. I sell drugs, steal something, or do something that I probably won't get caught at.
___	31.	Worsening of a pattern: Soon I start breaking the law on a regular basis. I am always thinking about how I can get away with something.
___	32.	Having serious problems: I get caught, picked up on a probation violation, have run-ins with the police, and get rejected by my family.

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Last Updated 11-7-02